Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
