you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
