I wanna bring you to show and tell
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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