what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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