We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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