its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize