You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
