If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
