We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
