You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
