i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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