whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
