Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
im six kinds of drunk right now
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
