i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
