That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
