You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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