soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
