wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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