Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Acid is not a monday night drug
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Your cock deserves a montage
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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