I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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