Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
