evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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