Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
