somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize