i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
