dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
