Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
