Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
