I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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