hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
