She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Randomize
