I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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