yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
