There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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