I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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