You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
