Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
