No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
