did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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