just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
