There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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