My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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