when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
