Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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