How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize