So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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