The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize