ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
