The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm having to shit out rocks
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
