Where is the hickey?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
