We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
