Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
