I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
