those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
