You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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