I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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