Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
