there's paper in my vomit.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
