dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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