Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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